Copyright 2006 Full
Tilt Poker
October 16, 2006
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Poker Lessons)
Poker Lesson: Balancing Poker and
Life
Author: Clonie Gowen
I am always trying to find the balance between family
and poker, and I
know a lot of you struggle with the same issue. For the serious
player with a significant other, the poker lifestyle can be a
real challenge. Here's a little advice for making poker work with
the rest of your life. I've included five tidbits of advice for
both the player and his or her partner.
Advice for the Poker Player
1. Don't punish your partner over your bad
play or bad luck. Let it go when you walk away from the
table. If you can't release that bad energy quickly, then let
your partner know that you need a little while to cool off. Snapping
at your partner isn't good for anyone.
2. Don't lie about wins or losses.
Remember, you're incredibly lucky if you found someone who supports
your dreams. If the money in play makes your partner nervous,
sit down and discuss a business plan that works for both of you.
Talk honestly about the pros and cons of serious poker. Don't
even consider going pro until you can cover all of your bills
for at least six months in advance.
3. If you make plans with your partner,
don't play that day. If you get stuck or if a sucker
sits at your table, you aren't going to want to leave, and feelings
are going to get hurt. Believe me.
4. If you're traveling the circuit, be courteous
and answer your phone. It's hard enough on a partner
when you're out of town. There's no need to make them wonder who
you're with or what you're doing.
5. Remember, there's life outside of poker.
If you can remember a hand you played five years ago, then it's
not too much to ask to remember your partner's birthday.
Advice for the Player's Partner
1. If your future champion walks through
the door looking a little grey, don't ask, "Did you win?"
Just back off and give them some space. I promise they
just need to analyze what happened and, maybe, replay a few hands
in their mind. The last thing they want to do is disappoint you
by talking about a big loss.
2. Poker players don't change.
If you don't try to understand a player's fascination with the
game, your relationship is going to see some very tough times.
Andy Bloch, for example, has an incredibly supportive girlfriend
(soon to be wife). She's smart and ambitious. Once she started
dating Andy, she realized that if the relationship was going to
work, she'd have to adapt to his travel schedule. You know what
she did? She started a website called PokerWire. For a time, she
traveled everywhere with Andy, reported on chip counts, and interviewed
players. Now, Jennifer is back in school and Andy has moved to
be with her, supporting her choice.
3. Don't be quick to assume the worst.
If your poker pro doesn't come home until 5AM, you can bet that
they were stuck in some game or that a favorite fish walked in
the door right as they were about to leave. Most poker players
are honorable people. They might bluff an opponent, but they don't
bluff in life. We are weird that way. So, unless they give you
a reason to think they were up to no good, give them the benefit
of a doubt.
4. A player can't choose the day or time
that a sucker will be at the table. Sometimes, they'll
need to play on Thanksgiving or Christmas - or even on your birthday.
If we get a phone call that "Ramin' Jamin' John" is
in town, there's nothing that's gonna stop us... except a car
wreck because we were speeding to get to the game.
5. If you want to learn how to play the
game, your partner may not be the best teacher. They
will have less patience with you than anyone else. Get some books
on poker, and start with them. It's hard to teach someone that
has never played, and it's going to get frustrating for both of
you. Play online at the lower limits to practice what you've learned.
I hope y'all enjoyed this one and, remember, bad
beats make for lousy pillow talk.
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